Mind Your Manners

There are precious few instances where divorce is discussed in a light-hearted manner. However, in a recent article in the Sydney Morning Herald (available here) the point was made that the presence of table manners (or lack thereof) may be putting some marriages under considerable strain, such that divorce could become a realistic prospect.

The article recounts how some of the most famous couples are said to have played host to some questionable table etiquette. Apparently, Jackie Kennedy-Onassis noted in her diary that her famous husband, former US President John F Kennedy and his family ate like pigs. The former First Lady is reported to have believed that her husband’s father was the only member of his family to observe any table manners. Questionable table manners are reported to be the hallmark of those who attain power, according to research by the University of California Berkley’s Social Interaction Lab. Known as the “Cookie Monster” study, their research found that those who achieve high status and power “eat with their mouth open, lips smacking, crumbs literally like falling onto their sweater".

While it is unusual to see divorce discussed in such numerous terms, the article underlines an important point: as a couple’s relationship grows, they may change and develop as people such that questions arise as to the sustainability of their relationship. This can result in their considering whether or not to bring their marriage to an end.

Can bad table manners be the reason for a divorce?

As a matter of law, questionable table etiquette cannot found a basis to bring a marriage to an end. The law governing divorce in Australia has been settled for quite some time and is fairly clear in terms of how a marriage is terminated. There are a few technical requirements that you will need to be able to meet if you are considering applying for a divorce, the most important being that you and your spouse have lived separately and apart for at least 12 months, and there is no reasonable likelihood of resuming married life (it is possible to live together in the same home and still be separated, see more on this matter below).

Another way of thinking that there is no reasonable likelihood of you and your spouse being able to carry on as a married couple is that the relationship has broken down irretrievably. This requirement links in with the article mentioned above in that couples can enter into a marriage together at a particular point in time believing that their relationship will last forever. However, the fact of the matter is that when people enter into a relationship, they may change and develop in ways which they had not intentionally planned. This may result in a change in behaviour, or altered tastes and interests. While it is true that many couples change as a unit and are still able to live quite harmoniously, others are not able to do so. It is in these cases that the longevity of a marriage can sometimes be brought into question, and people may need to consider whether they would want to divorce from their spouse.

Is the 12-month separation requirement difficult to meet?

It may be the case that some couples, while not living separately from one another, no longer live together as a married couple. They lead separate lives but under the one roof. In these cases it is possible to apply for a divorce from your spouse. However, in order for your application to be treated favourably you will need to be able to demonstrate that for that 12-month period you and your spouse were separated. This can be demonstrated in different ways but it can be helpful if you are able to show that you did not share the same group of friends or actively socialise in each other's company, and that you did not sleep in the same bed. You should be able to evidence that even at the most basic level, while living under the same roof as your spouse, you had segregated your lives so far as was possible in the circumstances.

How will a court treat an application for divorce?

In Australia, the courts are not charged with taking an active interest in the reason why an application for divorce is brought. Under The Family Law Act 1975, the principle of ‘no-fault’ divorce was established, meaning that the courts’ primary concern will be in being satisfied that you and your spouse have met the technical legal requirements to apply for a divorce – and will not make enquiries as to the reason why you are intending to separate from one another.

There are, however, instances where the courts, in considering an application for divorce, will need more information before it will agree to a couple’s separation. The most relevant situation is where a couple’s relationship has resulted in children and at the time of the application, the children are under 18 years old. The court will need to be satisfied that arrangements have been made between you and your spouse to provide for the children’s health and well-being. As a matter of practice, the courts do not like getting involved in decisions regarding children. It is best if you and your spouse, either alone or with some assistance, make as much of the decision making as possible regarding your children. Any evidence that the parental relationship with a child is not preserved, or that children's interests have not been considered, could result in delay to an application for divorce being granted. 

Contact our Divorce Lawyers in Sydney & NSW

Table manners are important, but cannot found a basis for a divorce. However, people do change over time and this can have implications for a couple’s marriage. It may be that your spouse has changed so much that you are no longer convinced of your continued suitability, or that you have both drifted apart over the years. If you are considering a divorce, you should speak to an expert divorce lawyer who will be able to advise you, and provide guidance and support in making the divorce application.

Szabo & Associates, Solicitors is a leading law firm providing advice on the law and procedure for divorce. Our team of solicitors have been practicing in the area of family law for many years, and have considerable expertise and experience in the field. We understand that the decision to divorce from your spouse will not have been taken lightly, and will help to navigate the divorce process as quickly as possible. Contact us today using our online contact form.